Helping Children Regulate Their Emotions: A Guide for Parents and Carers

As a parent or carer, one of the most important roles you play is helping children

navigate their emotional world. From joy and excitement to frustration and sadness,

emotions are a normal part of everyday life, but children don’t always have the tools

to manage them effectively. Emotional regulation is a skill that develops over time

and can be nurtured with guidance and support.

Here are some practical strategies to help children regulate their emotions and build resilience:

1. Label and Validate Emotions

Children often feel big emotions, but they may not have the language to express what they’re experiencing. Help them identify and label their feelings by saying things like, "It looks like you're feeling frustrated," or "I can see you're really excited." By naming emotions, you help them make sense of what they’re feeling.

Validation is just as important. Let children know it’s okay to feel the way they do. Phrases like, “It’s okay to be upset,” or “I understand why you’re feeling this way,” let them know their emotions are normal and valid.

2. Model Emotional Regulation

Children learn a lot by watching how adults manage their own emotions. By staying calm in challenging situations, you show children that it’s possible to handle difficult feelings without becoming overwhelmed. When you do experience strong emotions, talk them through. You might say, “I’m feeling stressed right now, so I’m going to take some deep breaths to help calm down.”

3. Teach Breathing Exercises and Relaxation Techniques

Simple relaxation strategies, such as deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation, can help children calm their bodies when emotions start to feel overwhelming. Try the “balloon breathing” technique, where you encourage your child to imagine blowing up a balloon by taking slow, deep breaths in and out. This can be a fun and effective way to help them regulate their emotions in the moment.

4. Create a Calm Down Space

Having a designated space where a child can go to calm down can be very helpful. This doesn’t have to be elaborate—just a cozy corner with soft cushions, some books, or sensory toys. The idea is to create a space where they can retreat when they need a break to process their feelings without feeling punished.

5. Use a Feelings Chart

For younger children, a feelings chart can help them visually express how they’re feeling. You can create one with different faces representing emotions like happy, sad, angry, scared, or excited. Encourage your child to point to or color in the face that represents how they feel. This helps them identify and communicate their emotions more easily.

6. Practice Problem-Solving Together

When children are upset, it can be helpful to guide them through problem-solving. For example, if a child is angry because a toy was taken away, help them think of solutions, like asking politely to share or finding another toy to play with. This not only teaches emotional regulation but also helps develop important social and coping skills.

7. Acknowledge and Reinforce Positive Coping

When your child handles their emotions in a healthy way, be sure to acknowledge and reinforce this behaviour. For instance, if they calm down after using their breathing techniques, offer praise like, “You did a great job calming down on your own!” Positive reinforcement helps solidify these strategies as effective tools for emotional regulation.

8. Encourage Regular Physical Activity

Physical movement is a powerful way to release built-up energy and stress. Encourage your child to engage in activities like running, jumping, or dancing when they’re feeling big emotions. Even going outside for a short walk can help them regulate their emotions and return to a calmer state.

9. Be Patient and Consistent

Learning to regulate emotions takes time, and every child is different. Be patient and consistent in your approach, offering gentle guidance when needed. It’s important not to dismiss or punish a child’s feelings, but instead to support them as they learn how to handle emotional ups and downs.

Final Thoughts

Helping children regulate their emotions is a gradual process, but with understanding and patience, they can develop essential life skills that will serve them well. By teaching them how to recognize, express, and manage their emotions, you’re giving them the tools to build emotional resilience and navigate challenges with confidence.

At Living Dreams Disability Services, we support children and families through their emotional development journey. If you’d like more information or personalized strategies for your child, our team of psychologists is here to help. Contact us to learn more!